Built last in bed

People’s perceptions of sexual stamina vary greatly: There are Sting-style Tantric contortions that last longer than the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and then there’s the closet quickie that occurs when you've you got eight minutes before the school bus arrives to drop your kids back home. In either case — and everywhere on the spectrum in between — you’re taking the act to completion (for both of you, one hopes), but whatever the length of any individual session, if you’re not lasting as long as you’d like, you need to spend some time thinking about your endurance.

1) Define “stamina.” As noted above, the word means vastly different things depending on context. Figure out what exactly you’re in search of, and it’ll be easier to find it.

2) Get a physical. Good advice anytime, but particularly when you’re concerned your sexual performance might be a little off.

3) Change your masturbation technique. Hey, fun! Pretend you’re 13 again: change hands. Rub one out in the shower. Making your method fit the type of sex you’re interested in having can pay dividends. Garrison’s unbeatable advice: “I always tell people, if you’re going to have sex on a chandelier, practice masturbating on the chandelier.”

4) Consider behavioural therapy. This doesn’t mean spending time on a therapist’s couch. Instead, actively work to build your endurance muscles — by doing pelvic Kegels, for example.

5) Involve your partner. “A lot of times I wonder if these men have actually talked to their partner about their satisfaction,” Be sure you discuss all your concerns with yours — you might discover you have less of a problem than you think you do.

6) Consider depression and stress. Is either (or are both) playing a role in your bedroom difficulties? Be honest with yourself. Mental causes of sexual dysfunction don’t respond well to standard pills-and-potions treatments, so it’s important to pinpoint the reasons behind yours.

7) Know that dysfunction happens. Well, yeah, duh. Of course you already do. But it’s important to recognize that even healthy men in committed relationships will experience sexual problems from time to time. It’s pretty much inevitable, so don’t beat yourself up about it. It’ll be far easier to tackle the problem if you come at it with a clear head and rational attitude.

8) Don’t be afraid of medical intervention. Professional help can make a big difference when nothing else seems to be working. Consult your general physician or urologist at the first sign of trouble.

9) Recognize that sex comes in many forms. Most men likely think of sexual endurance as delaying ejaculation for as long as possible. Yet even if you’re having trouble doing that, understand that sex is a whole-body pursuit and need not depend solely on precise control of orgasm. In the short term, that might be a little unsatisfying, but in the long term, it’s probably better for your sexual well-being overall. And whatever else it is, great sex is most assuredly a long-term consideration.